The AKA Why Drabbles
by Jagwarakit
Summary: A group of drabbles set in the world of my Insanity Trilogy.
1. Meditation

**Disclaimer:** I don't own either Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VII and it's spin-offs.

**Author's Notes:** This was just begging to be written. This one-shot marks the first in a group of one-shots/drabbles that I'm doing for The Insanity Trilogy. These stories just a group of side stories separate from the trilogy. I'm officially calling these one-shots/drabbles The AKA Why... Drabbles. I've already got the first one done, obviously, and I've got the next two waiting in the wings to be written. You'll see that included in the title block are some letters in parenthesis, this is a code so you know when the one-shot/drabble takes place. Check my profile for the complete code and a list of all the chapters I've got planned at the moment, weather their complete or pending. Any ways, enjoy.

**Meditation****  
AKA Why You Don't Leave Yourself Open for Stupid Questions  
(DT)**

They were sitting in a cave with a large crystal formation in it. Vincent called it a Mako fountain. He just thought it looked cool. The whole cave seemed to radiate peacefulness and calm. Cloud had left a while ago since Vincent would be training him in the basics. He thought that Cloud just didn't want to admit that he wasn't good at teaching the basics. Not that he'd ever say that out loud. He wasn't Malfoy after all.

At the moment, though, he was staring at Vincent with a look of absolute horror on his face. Apparently his first lessons were on mediation, something he was absolutely horrid at. Not that Vincent cared.

"Come now, Harry. No need to make that face. It's not that difficult to do so long as you have a competent teacher," Vincent said. "The goal is to clear your mind of all thoughts through whatever means that works best for you."

He blinked. Clear the mind of all thoughts? His mind promptly jumped track and blew up as the picture of himself keeling over dead because he stopped thinking about performing natural bodily functions, such as breathing, presented itself to his mind's eye. He only just kept himself from smirking as an idea popped into his head.

"Question," he said, continuing at Vincent's raised brow. "How can you clear you mind of all thoughts when you need to think to continue normal bodily functions?"

He could only smirk and snicker softly as Vincent twitched and restrained himself from face-palming. He could just hear Cloud's hardy laughter echoing from somewhere outside the cave. He could tell Vincent wanted to smack him with his clawed hand if it's twitching was any indication. Either that or rip out his voice box. Poking holes in Vincent's lessons was so much fun.

**--End--**


	2. Physical Education

**Disclaimer:** I don't own either Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VII and it's spin-offs.

**Physical Education****  
AKA Why You Don't Piss Off Galian Beast  
(DT)**

The first thing he thought wen brought into the ruins of Edge was what a dump. He'd said as much, too. Vincent and Cloud had snorted and eye-rolled respectively. So here he was, jogging through a somewhat natural obstacle course. That is if you didn't take into account that technically nothing was natural since they were in a bank vault. It was easy to forget; Goblins are definitely under-appreciated.

Vincent was a short distance off, flitting from one shadowed spot to the next while Cloud plodded next to him. They'd all decided to make jogging a family activity. Over the course of his training so far, he'd met the three strongest of Vincent's demons, Death Gigas, Hellmasker, and Chaos. He had yet, however, to meet the elusive Galian Beast. In all honestly, his curiosity was reaching epic proportions.

Whenever he'd asked Vincent about him, he'd just shook his head and told him that he'd meet Galian soon enough. The first few times he'd dropped the topic easily enough, but now it felt as if Vincent was making excuses to not introduce them. The other demons weren't that bad, so what was the problem with Galian Beast?

Did he have some sort of strange physical feature? Embarrassing skin or fur color? The mental image of a Minotaur with neon yellow skin with neon green spots and electric purple hair makes him wonder about what little sanity he had left. Maybe Galian Beast was fat. He couldn't imagine anyone or anything that was fatter then Vernon or Dudley, though.

Loud growling and hot breath on his neck brought him out of his musings. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw a massive Minotaur like creature with purple skin, red hair, and horns. Sharp teeth and claws finished off the look.

"I was thinking out loud again, wasn't I?" he asked, looking over to Cloud.

"Yep," was all Cloud said, keeping his pace.

"Damn," was all he said before taking off as if the hounds of Hell were after him, Galian Beast hot on his heels.

**--End--**


	3. Bug Problems

**Disclaimer:** I don't own either Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VII and it's spin-offs.

**Author's Notes:** This drabble comes a very long time after the final battle that takes place in Insanity's Wisdom. This will probably be the only fic that involves a crossover with another category then just Harry Potter and FFVII. This fic also includes FFX and takes place in that world. Who ever figures out what ruined city their in and the group Harry is referring to gets a cyber cookie. I also have to give Kyrrlatur credit for the idea of Sin being a mutated cockroach. His fic, The Calamity of the Sorceress, was awesome, which is where I got the idea from.

**Bug Problems****  
AKA Why You Don't Try to Smash Cockroaches with Magically Conjured Meteors  
(AFB)**

He was honestly surprised to see the group in this part of the ruined city. The groups had always stuck to a specific path. Something must have caused a huge change to bring the group out this way. What were they looking at any ways? All he could tell from his current position was that it was big and alive.

Looking over at his family, he raised a brow in question. When all they did was shrug, he huffed and rolled his eyes before slipping out the his shadow to go stand by the tall guy in the red coat, gaining his and his companion's attention. He wondered if he should tell the Ronso that Galian was scarier.

Giving the mismatched group a grin, he took his first good look at what the group had been looking at. Several stories high and even more long and mottled dark gray skin, it looked like a cross between some sort of fish and some sort of bug. He blinked at the thing for a few moments before spinning around to glare at Cloud who had come to stand at his back with Vincent.

"I told you not to try to smash Cockroaches with magically conjured meteors. One of them mutated," he said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at the giant thing.

Cloud had the grace to look sheepish, a light blush across his nose. Vincent simply gave Cloud an "I told you so" look. The other group was looking at them as if they were all nuts. Frankly, that was a fact that neither he nor his relatives could dispute, bug problems or not.

**--End--**


	4. Dinner Time

**Disclaimer:** I don't own either Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VII and it's spin-offs.

**Author's Notes:** Another chapter, another bit of insanity. I blame this one on Lady Avarice. She put this idea in my head and the mental image of Cloud standing at a stove covered in some sort of goop just wouldn't leave me be. Any ways, Lady Avarice gets a cyber-cookie for putting ideas into my demented little mind. On a side note, if you want to know the chronological order of the drabbles, look in my profile. I'll be posing them in order there.

**Dinner Time****  
AKA Why Cloud Doesn't Cook  
(AT)**

He sighed contently as he hung up the last of his cloths. He could hardly believe that his training was over. He'd been stunned when Cloud and Vincent told him that they were going with him after they told him his training was finished. So had the Goblins apparently. They'd known the secret of that particular vault, but none of the current generation of Goblins had ever seen either Cloud or Vincent. Apparently both were legends in Goblin society since Cloud and Vincent had, apparently, provided the Goblins with the means to build Gringotts. He'd choked on air when Vincent told him that they, and him by default, owned all of Diagon and Knockturn alleys. Thats on top of all the other properties and what not the family owned.

He chuckled softly to himself when he remembered the look on Cloud and Vincent's faces when he'd told the Goblin helping them with the last of their business that he wanted to change the family name back to Strife. The look in both their eyes was priceless compared to all the paperwork that had to be done. It was while doing that paperwork that he learned that his name was actually Hadrian after Cloud's first son. Cloud had been thrilled and shyly admitted that he reminded him of his son. When he'd told him that he was the only father, Vincent had become an uncle to him, that he could remember, he'd been smothered in hugs and affection. Even now He lightly teased him about that moment of lost control.

Glancing at the clock and stretching, he headed down the stairs of their high class London home. Hopefully Cloud and Vincent weren't to annoyed with the delay in dinner. Half way down the stairs, a muffled boom echoed through the house originating from the kitchen. Sprinting the rest of the way to the kitchen, he stopped at the entrance and stared. Nearly all the kitchen was covered in a white, brown, and orange something that he could only describe as goop. It was even dripping from the ceiling. Vincent was standing just in side the kitchen in the corner by the entrance just out side the blast radius. Standing in the middle of the devastation, though, was Cloud blinking owlishly at a dripping pot on the stove with a "what happened?" look on his face. He, himself, was nearly covered from head to toe in the goop. He groaned and rubbed at the headache forming behind his eyes before looking back up to look at Cloud who was now looking at him sheepishly. He sighed and shook his head not really able to be mad.

"Cloud, you're banned from cooking," he said to a now pouting Cloud, Vincent chuckling off to the side.

Honestly, he thought that Cloud would have learned by now. While Cloud was a genius at campfire cooking, he was a natural disaster in a normal kitchen. Thank God he'd kept up with studying modern magic otherwise this would take forever to clean up. Sighing, he shared a look with Vincent that held more meaning then all the words in the world. No matter Cloud's faults, they wouldn't want him any other way. Thankfully, that applied to them as well. They may be a patchwork family, but they were still family and to them that was priceless.

**--End--**


	5. Bad Hair Day

**Disclaimer:** I don't own either Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VII and it's spin-offs.

**Author's Notes:** Wow, it's about time I got around to posting this. Had this chapter and it's follow-up, Meeting the Family, sitting around for a couple weeks I think. Oh well, better late then never I suppose. Enjoy.

**Bad Hair Day****  
AKA Why Looking in a Mirror Can be a Good Idea  
(AFB)**

He somehow knew that something interesting would happen today. His suspicions were confirmed when Cloud wondered into the kitchen with his eyes sparkling with mirth and barely holding his laughter to soft snickers.

"What's so funny?" he asked from his place at the stove.

"You'll see," Cloud answered, a broad smile tugging at his lips.

"I'll hazard a guess that it has something to do with Vincent," he said, shooting an amused glance at Cloud before turning back to the pancakes he was making. "What did you do?"

"I did nothing," Cloud claimed, his voice shaking with repressed laughter. "I swear it's all natural."

He snorted and shook his head, Cloud's cheerful demeanor had his own lifting. It was also uncommon for Cloud to be so obviously happy. It was a nice change when it happened.

"I take it I should summon my camera so I can capture prime blackmail material, then?" he asked, his eyebrow raised.

Cloud could only nod for how much he was snickering and showing his own camera. Hearing soft steps coming towards the kitchen, he discretely summoned his own camera to his pocket. He looked up when Vincent entered the kitchen and pause at the tea pot to pour himself his morning cup.

Vincent had obviously had one of his poorer nights because not only was he still partly asleep, Vincent was a notorious morning person, but he wasn't even dressed yet, which was next to unheard of for him. That wasn't what really drew his attention. What drew his attention was the fact that Vincent had the absolute worst bed head you could ever imagine. Vincent all most literally had an afro.

He slowly pulled out his camera and snapped a picture when Vincent turned towards him to go to the table. He quickly banished it to his room and turned back to cooking before Vincent came out of his flash induced stupor and realize what happened. Luckily, Vincent just shrugged it off, still not awake enough to comprehend what happened. He shared an amused look with Cloud before dishing out the breakfast and placing it on the table. It was just another day after all, blackmail material or not. That and Ron and Hermione were coming over to meet his family. He wondered if he could make it to South Africa before they got here. He glanced at his family. Then again, he'd never had family to introduce his friends to. To have that memory would be worth all the questions. Memories were priceless after all.

**--End--**


	6. Meet the Family

**Disclaimer:** I don't own either Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VII and it's spin-offs.

**Author's Notes:** This chapter takes place the same 'day' as Bad Hair Day. Enjoy.

**Meet the Family****  
AKA Why Bookworms Shouldn't Meet  
(AFB)**

Two hours, fifty four minutes, and forty three seconds. That was how long Vincent and Hermione had been talking about books. In all honesty the meeting between his friends and his family went very well with minimal questions from Hermione. Ron had understood when he said it was a family secret and had said he was honored to be included in on it.

Glancing to his right, he found that Ron and Cloud looked as bored as he felt. Shuffling over next to them, he poked both out of the stupor they'd fallen in.

"Wanna go out back and work on our swordsmanship?" he asked once he had their attention; Ron always had wanted to learn swordsmanship from a master after all.

Receiving nods that would make woodpeckers jealous at the speed, he lead them out of the room as quickly and as quietly as possible. Hopefully it would take the two bookworms awhile to realize they were gone. Not everyone was a bibliophile after all.

**--End--**


	7. Sickness

**Disclaimer:** I don't own either Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VII and it's spin-offs.

**Sickness**  
**AKA Why It's Good to Have Someone to Lean On  
(AFB)**

I hummed contently as I stretched before settling back down to read. Cloud and Vincent were doing Kata in the exercise room as was their Thursday evening ritual. I usually always joined them, but I'd felt as if I needed to be here for some reason. The phone rang then, startling me. The ring seemed different somehow. It filled me with a sense of foreboding. Shaking it off the best I could, I answered.

"Hello?"

"..."

"Hello, Mrs. Granger. Is something the matter? You sound stressed."

"..."

"I see. Thank you for telling me."

"..."

"Yes. Good bye."

How? How could something like this happen to Hermione. Where...where's that screaming coming from? Is it...me?

"Har...!"

"...ry! ...p...it!"

Shaking... Who...who's shaking me?

"Harry! Snap out of it!"

"C...Cloud?" was that really my voice?

"Yes. What happened?"

A whimper escaped my lips as I pressed my face to his shoulder, my breath hitching as I tried not to cry. It was a futile effort, though, as tears ran down my cheeks as I looked up at Cloud and Vincent.

"Hermione has cancer."

**--End--**


	8. Eulogy

**Disclaimer:** I don't own either Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VII and it's spin-offs.

**Author's Notes:** I suppose this chapter is sort of a sequel to Sickness. Kinda like how Meet the Family was a sequel of sorts to Bad Hair Day. I seem to be on a roll for writing chapters that have sort of sequels following them. Oh well. I suppose my muses just wanna show the aftermath of those particular chapters. Any ways, you should keep in mind that this chapter is Harry giving an eulogy at Hermione's funeral before they take her to be buried.

**Eulogy****  
****AKA Why Memories Are Precious  
(AFB)**

"I can still remember the first time I'd come across Hermione. It was during Charms class first year. Gaia was it really so long ago, it seems like such a short time ago. We'd been working on the levitation charm and Ron was having trouble. Hermione had tried to help but came off as a pushy know-it-all. Ron had insulted her later after class and she'd heard. She went to cry in one of the girls restrooms. This was also the same day as the Troll incident if I remember right. A wonderful friendship began that day.

"For seven years she fought by my side to end the war, putting herself in danger so others could live without the fear that a mad man may come after them for something as stupid as who their parents are. There were times when we thought she wasn't going to make it, but she surprised us all with her strength and determination. To think that after surviving all that she did during the war, she could be brought down by something like this.

"I can still remember the day I got the phone call. I think that day will always be crystal clear in my mind. I was reading at the time while my roommates were doing Kata in the exercise room. I can remember talking to Hermione's mother on the phone and I can remember just sitting there letting it all sink in. The denial and grief came then. I can remember sinking to my knees and screaming at the injustice of it. I can remember thinking 'Why Hermione? Why not someone who deserves it?' My roommates had come in at that point and Cloud had shook me out of my episode, I suppose you could call it, and demanded to know what was wrong. I can still remember how the words sounded like a death knell in the air and I remember how they seemed to just hang there as if death himself had finally come for us.

"It's amazing how three simple words can change so much. Never did I imagine that I'd be standing here and giving a speech like this for one of the women that became like a sister to me. Looking back, there are so many things I wish I could have done differently, things I wish I could have said but didn't. For all the strength and power that I have, for all the things I can do, I couldn't save one of my best friends from herself. I can hear Hermione scolding me for blaming myself. I know that she wouldn't want me, or anyone, to morn her. Rather, she'd want me, us, to remember the good times.

"Hermione believed that the dead were never truly gone so long as you remembered them fondly. That's what I intend to do. I intend to remember Hermione fondly and keep the memory of her close to my heart. That way I'll always have a piece of her with me. And who knows, maybe we'll cross paths again in another life. If we do, I intend to have so many stories to tell her of the lives I've lived. She'd like that."

**--End--**


	9. Injury

**Disclaimer:** I don't own either Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VII and it's spin-offs.

**Author's Notes:** Wow, another chapter. //eyes chapter// It took me two Sudoku puzzles to get this thing going and even then it didn't turn out the way I thought it would. I had this picture of Harry daydreaming while doing some jogging with Cloud and Vincent and somehow running off a cliff cause he wasn't paying attention; instead I come up with this. Ah well, it's still rather amusing.

**Injury  
****AKA Why It's A Good Idea to Look Before You Leap  
(DT)**

He'd finally broken his record. He'd actually gone a month without a major injury. He just wish his record hadn't been broken in such a humiliation way.

'I mean, really, who breaks their arm jogging, of all things?' he thought with a mental huff.

He could just see Chaos pointing at him and laughing hysterically. He gave Vincent's chest the evil eye even if none of his inner demons were laughing. He could just hear Vincent's snort of amusement. Which meant one of them, at least, was, indeed, laughing.

He looked over at Cloud and glowered. He wasn't even trying to attempt to hide his amusement. At least he wasn't laughing out loud.

Huffing, he slumped further against the rock formation he was leaning against. He shot Cloud a glare when he snickered softly. He huffed a second time and turned away from Cloud and Vincent earning amused chuckles. So he was being childish, didn't he deserve it this one time? After all, it wasn't his fault he didn't see that cliff.

'How the hell did I manage to run off a cliff anyways?' he thought to himself.

**--End--**


	10. Sword Work

**Disclaimer:** I don't own either Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VII and it's spin-offs.

**Author's Notes:** Wow, a chapter that wasn't solely in Harry's point of view. The end of this chapter hints at something hinted at the end of Insanity's Wisdom. Anyone who figures it out gets a cyber-cookie.

**Sword Work  
AKA Why You Don't Turn Your Back on Teens With Sharp Objects  
(DT)**

Harry leaned against a random rock formation bored out of his mind and a simple practice sword held semi-limply in his hand. A year after he arrived and he was finally starting to learn the basics of swordsmanship. If he could survive Cloud's beginning lecture that is. So far it was a loosing battle. He didn't even have Vincent to keep him company any more since he'd ran off five minutes into the lecture. He swore he saw Vincent give him a 'sucks-to-be-you' look before he did his disappearing act.

Cloud was currently facing away from him looking out over the plains of Midgar from the top of a cliff. He did a slow blink as the gears in his head started turning again. A simple equation popped into his head. An occupied Cloud facing away from him plus a sharp, pointy object in his possession equals a cure for boredom. An insane grin spread slowly across his lips as he edged closer to Cloud as quietly as possible. He'd have to thank Vincent for those Turk stealth lessons.

He cackled evilly as Cloud went sailing over the edge of the cliff with a yelp. He took a moment to catch his breath and savor his victory before promptly doing an about-face and taking off running as if the hounds of hell were after him. No way in hell he was going to be still there when Cloud got back to the top of the cliff.

--o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o--

At the bottom of the cliff, Vincent watched Cloud as he laid in a heap as he stared up at the top of the cliff, a bland 'what happened?' look on his face.

"This is what you get for turning your back on a bored teen with a sharp, pointy object," Vincent said slight amusement coloring his voice.

Cloud just grunted and give Vincent a look that clearly said 'shut up'.

"Are you going after him?" a raised eyebrow accompanied the question.

"I figured I'd give him a five minute head start. He's not enhanced after all." came the calm reply.

"Yet," was the softly breathed response, barely a whisper on the wind.

Cloud stood up and dusted off his cloths before looking back up to the top of the cliff. Cloud smiled.

**--End--**


	11. Moving On

**Disclaimer:** I don't own either Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VII and it's spin-offs.

**Author's Notes:** This chapter basically takes place at a time when Harry and his family have to move on as to avoid questions as to why they aren't aging or getting sick or what not. This chapter also introduces their means of travel; motorcycle. For their bikes, just picture Fenrir from Advent Children for Clouds bike, then change the color to a deep purple/black iridescent color for Harry's bike, Ramuh (the compartments can fit both swords and guns), and, finally, chance the color again to a deep red/black iridescent color for Vincent's bike, Diabolos (the compartments can only fit guns).

**Moving On  
AKA Why Company Is the Best Medicine  
(AFB)**

So much had changed. Nothing was as he remembered it. An incredible sense of loss and helplessness came over him as he looked over what London had become in the hundred and fifty years since the final battle with Voldemort. Had it really been so long? It didn't feel like it. It seemed that all he did was blink and everything changed.

Was this what it was like for Cloud and Vincent? Was this why they entombed themselves in that vault so my thousands of years ago? Is that what would become of him given enough time?

He swallowed thickly and turned from the sight of the city to take in his companions. Both watched him with calm, understanding eyes that held the wisdom of so many lifetimes. Somehow, those ancient eyes calmed his fears, brushing them away as if they were simply leaves on the wind.

A truly content smile spread across his lips. He could do this if only because he knew he would never be alone. With a soft chuckle, he strode forward and mounted his motorcycle, Ramuh, and revved the engine as he watched the sun rise painting the sky with blues, yellows, and pinks. His eyes shown with excitement as Cloud and Vincent revved Fenrir and Diabolos to life.

It was time for them to face a new day and a new chapter in their lives, a chapter made all the sweeter by the company of each other.

**--End--**


End file.
